Black Holes

By on Feb 10, 2014

Austin Share On GoogleShare On FacebookShare On Twitter

Here’s the Introduction to the book (Young, Restless, No Longer Reformed…used by permission of Wipf and Stock Publishers…, and a peek into the reason why black holes are mentioned in the subtitle!



When a big star dies, a remarkable thing happens.[1] Its own gravity crunches it until it becomes a small core of infinite density—matter squeezed together so tightly the known laws of physics cease to exist. The dead star now has a gravitational pull so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape. And at this point, the dead star has become a black hole, and everything within its reach is dragged towards its center. It can swallow planets, stars, and even other black holes. Get too close and you’ve bought a one-way ticket on a journey to the center of a black hole. Its gravity is irresistible.

Gravity is an integral part of human life. It doesn’t take us long to learn that what comes up must come down. And it’s not as if anyone enforces gravity—it just is; a physical force to be accepted and not conquered. Gravity is also a spiritual force in the sense that we humans find ourselves drawn to things beyond our control. We are constantly sucked in to things—a job, a person, a hobby, an addiction. But of course if you really put spiritual gravity under the microscope, you see that the thing we are being sucked in to is ourselves.

We are black holes—walking, talking pits of narcissism, self-pity, and loneliness, pillaging the world around us in a desperate attempt to fill the void inside us. Unless something is done, you will spend the rest of your existence as a human black hole, eternally collapsing in on self in a tragic effort to preserve self. It’s bad news.

But Christians believe there is good news that is better than the bad. We believe something has been done—that through the incarnation, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God has done what we could not do ourselves. We no longer have to live under the crushing gravity of self because where sin and selfishness abounded, grace now abounds all the more. It certainly is good news, but…


Options for the Restless

Leave it to us to take something so beautiful and other-centered and turn it into something (you guessed it) about us.

The universe-altering message of the gospel becomes a message about me: Jesus died so I could be happy and comfortable forever and ever. While this may pass for gospel in many circles, there is a growing swell of opposition to it in many others—a recognition that such thin, therapeutic, self-centered expressions of Christianity lack the gravitas to hold a human life together, much less make it thrive. A crowd of voices calls us out of consumerism, moralism, and skepticism and into sacrifice, risk, and commitment.

And for those who are restless for more, Neo-Calvinism[2] often appears as the strongest—and perhaps only—alternative for thinking biblical people. It offers the new center of gravity that can finally draw us away from self. Such was my conviction, and I still believe Neo-Calvinism is a strong alternative to cultural Christianity.

But I believe we best say yes to God’s glory and sovereignty by saying no to Calvinism. I believe that I—along with many others, past and present—have found an even better option. It’s not new, and it’s not novel; indeed I would argue it is simply the historic consensus of the church. But correctly understood, it offers the greatest hope for a restless church. Unlike Calvinism, it doesn’t replace the black hole of self with the black hole of deity, making both God and the Bible impossible (more on that later); however, it does offer an infinitely glorious God, a crucified Messiah, and a cross-shaped call to follow Jesus.


Egotistical Sincerity

These are my convictions, and anyone with convictions faces a dilemma: would you rather be convincing or honest? Is it more important to get people to agree with you or to honestly present the best of worthy options? While I have certainly tried to be convincing, I think the truth is best served when we are honest, and so I have also tried to be honest. And the best way I have found to be honest is to tell you my story: a journey in and out of Calvinism. As Chesterton once confessed, sometimes you have to be egotistical if you want to be sincere.[3]

In this reminiscing, something became clear: theology and biography belong together.[4] We try to make sense of God as we try to make sense of our own stories, our own lives. As such, theology is meant for participants, not spectators. I write as a participant and not a spectator in the hopes it will help you become a better participant in your own theological journey, wherever it takes you. These things said, let the journey begin. Only it can’t quite begin without two quick detours.


Detour #1: The Wrong Girl

I once had a friend who was convinced the wrong girl was the right girl. He thought she hung the moon while walking on water and while I thought she was nice and all, I was convinced there was someone out there better for him. Whether I was right or wrong isn’t the point—the point is that when I talked with him about it, I wasn’t trying to sabotage his current relationship so much as I was trying to encourage the prospects of a new one. I feel much the same when I talk to people about Calvinism because while I think you could put a ring on her and live happily ever after, I also think there’s someone better out there. On top of that, it’s a shame to be known for what you’re against, so for clarity’s sake I’m not trying to get anyone to not be something (a Calvinist), but to be something.

Or to make the point with different strokes, the silhouette of the crucified God of Golgotha is an image chiseled into my heart. When sin within rises, chaos without descends, confusion all around lays waste to any semblance of comprehension—when I don’t feel like I understand a damn thing—I look up there and I understand enough to say thank you. I understand enough to call it love.

So when someone messes with this picture, adding a cryptic backdrop that threatens to stain the whole thing, I’m against the backdrop only because I’m for the picture I think the backdrop ruins. I’m not against the Calvinist picture of God so much as I am grieved by what that picture does to the picture I love, turning the full-truth of Golgotha into a duplicitous half-truth. The rest of the book is a description of what happened when my Calvinism was subjected to the searing scrutiny of that image, in the hopes you might glimpse the terrifyingly beautiful God of Jesus Christ.


Detour #2: Everything

The most devastating combination of words in the English language form a statement masquerading as a question: who cares? When this “question” is asked, a statement is made. The asker is expressing his apathy and disregard for the issue under discussion. It does not appear to matter, so why waste our breath? Why kick a hornet’s nest just so we can count the hornets? And it’s a good “question” to ask because many of the issues that hoard our energies and efforts are dead ends. It’s also a “question” I’ve been asked many times when debates about Calvinism and its alternatives arise.

Does it really matter if Calvinism is true or false? Does it really matter if we have free will? Does it really matter? Not at all, and yet, more than you could imagine.

No, it doesn’t matter because God is who he is and does what he does regardless of what we think of him, in much the same sense that the solar system keeping spinning around the sun even if we’re convinced it spins around the earth. Our opinions about God will not change God; however, they can most certainly change us. And so yes, it does matter because the conversations about Calvinism and free will plunge into the heart of the question the universe asks us at every turn:

Who is God?

And this is a question that has everything to do with everything.

[1] Or to be more precise, a remarkable thing can happen. For a good explanation of how black holes are formed, see Stephen Hawking, Black Holes and Baby Universes and Other Essays (New York: Bantam, 1993), 103-104.

[2] Neo-Calvinism proper is a Dutch strand of Calvinism associated with Abraham Kuyper. I am using it to refer to the high federal Calvinism of Jonathan Edwards, as popularized by people like John Piper, Mark Driscoll, Al Mohler, etc. The term was used in this fashion in a Time magazine article (March 12, 2009) and seems to have stuck. As such, I am using it to delineate the New Calvinism movement chronicled in Collin Hansen’s Young, Restless, and Reformed, although I acknowledge some people prefer to call it other things (for example, Neo-Puritanism).

[3] G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy (Simon & Brown, 2012), 3.

[4] This idea is explored in Biography as Theology by James McClendon.


  1. Stephen Alexander

    February 10, 2014

    Post a Reply

    My dad refer to this as the vortex of self-reference and Tony Woodlief says,”I do not know the shape of hell, but I think it is a spiral.”

  2. Austin Fischer Austin Fischer

    February 10, 2014

    Post a Reply

    Geez I wish you would have shared these thoughts sooner! I would have put them in the book. Love the phrase your dad uses. I think I’ll incorporate it in the future. Thanks for sharing these thoughts!

  3. Elaine Fish

    February 10, 2014

    Post a Reply

    LOVED your book. I devoured it. You put into words my 20 year journey out of Calvinism. Obviously you fast-tracked your way; I was in
    the remedial class! Your words were engaging and oh so true. My religious fog cleared as you defined the essence of this Calvinistic God. Amazing to see how we project our reality onto Him. Couldn’t believe C.S. Lewis’ take on the subject. Tears poured as I read your/Barth’s description of a God who’s glory is His love. I have to confess I have wanted my own silver bullets and your description of the mystery of uncertainty set me free of this driving need I have to prove that I (or anyone for that matter) have it “right.” What is God saying through His seeming silence? Do you ever wish He would paint THE answers on a billboard? Trusting His revelation within me is difficult most of the time when I’m surrounded by folks who speak the opposite. I so appreciate your willingness to admit you could be wrong. Thank you–I feel as if I’ve fallen through The Wardrobe door and landed in a place He calls “home.”

    • Austin Fischer Austin Fischer

      February 20, 2014

      Post a Reply

      Thanks so much Elaine. I do wish I could get answers on billboards! I’m really glad the book was helpful for you and it sounds like your journey has cultivated lots of humility and generosity in your heart. Cheers to that!

  4. B. P. Burnett

    February 14, 2014

    Post a Reply

    G’day, Austin! Having left Calvinism behind (good on you!), I do recommend you take a look into Arminian Reformed Theology, particularly Jacobus Arminius’ primary works. There’s actually some great research being done right now, particularly by Keith Stanglin and Thomas H. McCall (2012) and W. Stephen Gunter (2012) on Arminius. I find Arminius very helpful. I pray you would continue to grow in Christ. God bless your church ministry. God bless your sanctification and perseverance in the truth.

  5. Warren Pearce

    February 18, 2014

    Post a Reply

    Really enjoyed your book. I, too, had a journey into and out of Calvinism – although I’m still “reconstructing” my theological house. Your chapter called “One Hell of a Problem” was extremely helpful – especially how you exposed the “I love all women but not the same way that I love my wife” illustration. And your question of how we can be certain of God’s integrity and truthfulness if we’re so messed up about his love and justice will stick with me for a long time. You’ve obviously lived with these issues for some time. I’m wondering if you can offer any help for my theological home that’s still under construction? Three things still deeply trouble me (dozens more confuse me but these three really trouble me). One, you write on p. 40 “God would never do something Jesus would find morally reprehensible, so if you can’t find it in Jesus, then you really ought to think twice before you claim you’ve found it in God.” I like that. But God’s command in the Old Testament to annihilate entire groups of people (including women and children) don’t seem to fit with the Jesus of the Gospels. Two, you argue that God wants “loving, reciprocal relationships” more than he wants everyone to be saved. But why would God create humans in the first place knowing that many would choose to not enter such relationships – hell seems a steep price to pay. Thirdly, when Revelation speaks of there being no more “death or mourning or crying or pain” how do you imagine that will be possible when we have loved ones in hell? Thanks for the book!

    • Austin Fischer Austin Fischer

      February 20, 2014

      Post a Reply

      Hey Warren. Thanks for the kind words and those are some great questions you raise. Here are a few thoughts…

      Question #1…the OT annihilation texts are tough and I basically see two options. Option 1, while it certainly does sound terrible and horrific to us, it was literally the best (kindest, most compassionate) God could do given what he had to work with. God was working, through Israel, to bless the whole world, and because God has chosen to work within the confines of space, time, and free moral agents, that was the best option available. Option 2 would, basically, be to say the writers got it wrong in those texts and God didn’t really want those things. This would obviously raise some issues regarding inspiration.

      Question #2…hell does seem a steep price to pay for loving, reciprocal relationships, but if those types of relationships had to come at the price of the possibility (inevitability) of hell, we’re left trusting that a good God knew what he was doing. I don’t know that we can peer much deeper into the mystery on this particular issue.

      Question #3…I’ve come across a few different explanations. I think NT Wright suggests that those in hell will have so deformed themselves and lost the image of God that they will cease to be persons. Perhaps that alleviates or does away with our sorrow?…I dunno. The other option would be annihilation…though I’m not sure that helps much. I’m with you on this one, but similar to the issue in question #2, I think we’re left accepting a mystery…but at least we have a good God who looks like Jesus crucified to trust.

      Great questions!

  6. chalesdor

    February 25, 2014

    Post a Reply

    Dear austin; you are making a big mistake by listing to the English, they are giving you bad info. There is no such thing as a black hole, an there thelogy is just there bad openion. And christion thelogy is satanic…its basis is human sacrifice to atone for sin.. Jesus said, if you belive in Him who sent me you will be saved, christianity sez, there is no salvation without human bloodshed….

  7. Norm

    April 5, 2014

    Post a Reply

    Austin, and any one else who has left Calvinism: I would love to interview you. — Norm Miller, editor/moderator,

  8. Andy Still

    September 23, 2014

    Post a Reply

    Just found, and then devoured your book. Thank you for writing it, amidst what MUST have been a battle/struggle. It is nice to have another voice reminding us of the witness of the Spirit in us and the Son among us when everyone (at least those around me) are so strongly pushing this false picture of God through the misuse of scripture, and yet doing so in such a scripturally convincing manner. It is nice to know I do not stand alone in believing that the God I fell in love with is incompatible with the god of hard-line neo-calvanism / piper-ism, and more importantly, that I don’t have to ignore scriptures that these have misrepresented.

    • Andy Still

      September 23, 2014

      Post a Reply

      I wanted to add, that I believe your continued ‘deep respect for John Piper’ is misplaced at best. I know – I’m trying to be gracious and Christ-like… he just seems to be convincing millions of people that God is not good, and has created a concept of the character of God that I could not – and certainly would not – worship. After (incredulously) reading my wife a portion of “The Pleasures of God” by John Piper, she said, “If that were true, then wouldn’t John 3:16 read, ‘For God so loved himself that he sent his only begotten son to be crucified in order to increase his own glory by sending most everyone into everlasting torture without giving them any hope or choice while making a select few into robotic servants.’ John (Piper) 3:16?”


  1. Why I’m Not A Calvinist - […] Austin Fischer, a young ex Calvinist and author of Young, Restless, No Longer Reformed writes – “Our opinions about…

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *